February 2012
4 posts
January 2012
6 posts
Red Flashing Flags
My friend is unsure about calling it quits with a man she’s been dating for two weeks who:
Brought rope and a ukulele on their first date.
Sings Jason Mraz songs in public.
Confessed that a year ago he tried to commit suicide with his iPod earbuds.
December 2011
11 posts
Thanks, we also have to be careful about words that are too violent – hack,...
– Client on news release guidelines (via shitprchickssay)
November 2011
17 posts
The Mysteries of Seattle, Part I: Who Pooped in the Garage?
Evelyn and her roommates can’t figure out the origin of the two human poops in their two-car garage. Was it the hobo who used to live in there? Or one of the Rachels?
October 2011
20 posts
Wake up with a laugh attack
Me: Close your eyes - I'm turning on the light.
Him: [sits up in bed] WHAT?!
Me: Close your eyes.
Him: Oh, I thought you said "come wipe the feces" - like there was poop somewhere.
My lease is up in 14 days and I have no clue where I’m going to live.
– Email from Jess.
Live life like you might be homeless in two weeks.
I am waiting for the day you snap.
– Thanks, Sam.
But it's about ME!
Me: I just want to run free, like a bird.
Tommy: ... like Nelly Furtado. She used to be cute. Then had a kid. Too bad. Plus she has bad skin. These are my exact feelings on Nelly Furtado.