February 2008
17 posts
Testing
Alex told me to take this test. He said he knew what I was, and he was right!
Now this my friends, is love. →
“Are you wearing my panties?!”
– Overheard in the locker room at The Rock. One old lady talkin’ to another old lady.
Fatty, fatty, FATTY!
[While talking on the phone and looking at old iPhoto pictures]
Me: What happened to us? We got so fat.
Lil: I know. I don't even eat a lot and I workout! I don't know what's happening!
Me: I know, me too!
Lil: I don't think it's fat. I think it's a tumor! It's all tumor...
Me: [silent laughing]
Lil: I'm going to the gym for two hours. But I have work to do. I think I need a personal assistant.
Me: [still silent laughing]
Lil: I mean, I sweat at the gym!
Best junk email, ever!
What’s up? Real men! Milliions of people acrosss the world have already tested THIS and ARE making their girlfrieends feel brand new sexual sensationns! YOU are the best in bed, aren’t you ?
Girls! DDevelop your sexual relationsship and get even MORE pleasuree! Make your boyyfriend a gift! Asking the guard, towels are handed over to those a chat with her. I should think so,...
American Express / Customer Service
I have never had a credit card rep make a payment confirmation phone call or use the words "beautiful" and "amazing". It just happened. And it confused and annoyed me.
American Express Rep: Hi Mary Clare - it's [XX] from American Express! I am the exact man you spoke to last Thursday!
Me: Oh, hi. Is everything okay?
American Express Rep: Yes miss, everything is just absolutely wonderful. I just wanted to confirm that the payment that you called in has been taken out of your account and everything is great.
Me: Okay. Thanks? Wait, so my balance is zero now, right?
American Express Rep: Yes. It's beautiful. Amazingly good - your balance is at zero. I just wanted to confirm everything.
Me: Okay. Thanks. Bye?
American Express Rep: Is there anything else I can do for you?
Me: No, thanks...
American Express Rep: You have a beautiful day and you take care of yourself.
I never liked milk anyways.
I just poured myself a bowl of Kashi cereal (Seven Whole Grain Nuggets) with skim milk. First bite tasted peculiar, but I kept eating because I was hungry and I was reading Julia’s blog which, as usual, was stealing all my attention.
Next thing I know, the cereal is gone and I notice a strange taste in my mouth. I go into kitchen, open the fridge and look at the milk.
SELL BY FEB 14
...
Whip/wip
After a late morning and early afternoon spent recovering/cleaning/watching Arrested Development, I decided I needed some food in the fridge and that a trip to Key Food was necessary.
After purchasing my usual weekly items, I left, following close behind a boy in tight jeans and a thin sweatshirt. At the corner light, we stood - waiting for cars to stop. He reached his hand into his plastic...
Can't stop, don't stop.
I would be like, so skinny if I didn’t eat so much ice cream. And I wouldn’t eat so much ice cream if Key Food didn’t have buy one get one free on Edy’s every Saturday.
“Come watch the Super Bowl with us tomorrow in Williamsburg. We’re going to...”
– Girl on cell phone on N train. She got off at Astoria Blvd. I was upset, I wanted to hear more.