I had my first panic attack a month ago. Claire and I were driving our rented Red Jetta from Niagara Falls back to our campsite. It was dark, and there were yellow signs along the freeway warning me I was driving through deer territory. I suddenly had a vision of a deer standing in the road, and me hitting it. I told Claire this, and she said: just make sure if that happens you don’t swerve. The heavy breathing started. Of course I would swerve! That’s all I would do! Claire video taped me as I cried and laughed and said I’M NOT OKAY overandoveragain and went from driving 55 mph to 15 mph.
Since my deer induced panic attack, I’ve had a few more minor ones. I’m moving in one week, and one day. I have not started packing, or getting boxes to mail the sweatshirts and t-shirts I won’t be able to fit into my two suitcases. Instead, I have been lounging and drinking beers and hanging out with people that I am going to miss. I made the decision to leave months ago, and am just now starting to feel what is happening. I am a ball of emotions so email bribes like this one from Tommy (to Hannah and I) are actually dangerous:
I had this idea while in the shower, but it’s not gross or anything.
Fuzz, you’re not leaving.
Instead we will all set aside some time, for the next few months to start our traveling family band. We will hone our routine (and make our costumes), go out on a small bar tour (very small), get a street-team together, and then be ready for county fairs for next spring and summer. Seriously, they take anyone. And then we’ll open for U2, the following fall, build a fan-base. Then headline our own World Tour the following summer. (2011). Deal?
Tonight the roomies and I are going out for our last family dinner at Applewood. I might cry while I eat. I am not going to lie, I will miss these two the most.
